“Miss Doris” claims to have met me on the BitTorrent tracker site, and is simply searching “for a good man who understands what sex, marriage, and real love is all about.” Who says BitTorrent can’t bring people together?
We all get spam each day from supposed desperate oil barons, princes, and former kings all looking for our help in regaining their lost fortunes, but how about ones that try to lure you in with tales of love and friendship using alleged contacts in a BitTorrent tracker site forum?
Gmail does a great job filtering out what should be an endless parade of spam trouncing otherwise important correspondence, just ask anyone who uses Yahoo or Hotmail what that’s like. But, every once in a while a piece of spam does get through and it’s usually of the pretty creative type having been successful in beating Gmail’s diligent spam police.
This was the case for the one that reads as follows from “Miss Doris,” glaring poor punctuation, misspellings, and all:
Dear Friend,
how are you?I find you on ww.isohunt.com.I am miss Doris,not marry.Iam God frearing Girl,beautiful,honest caring girl. I am here to search for a good man,Who understands what sex,marriage and real love is all about.A man from any country or religion for friendship,i mean trusted friendship that may lead to long term relationship.for this reason,I decided to reach you to see if my request will be honor.I will tell you more about me and also send my picture to you for you to know me,as soon as i get your reply.age is not a problem.. I sincerely find you and I will like to know and hear more from you.
Good Bye, Thanks,Doris
IsoHunt forums? Being a public tracker site open forum accessibility means it’s surely popular with many, but I’m not one of them. “Doris” uses the same broken english that plagues many a forum poster as we all know.
True or not, it’s nice to see that a common interest like file-sharing could lead to such romanticism so I decided to write “Miss Doris” back
My reply reads:
Dear Miss Doris,
That day on isoHunt is a day I will not soon forget. I was there only to post about my excitement over the leaking of “The Wrestler” DVDSCR, and lo and behold, your witty replies made my heart skip a beat. BitTorrent is apparently able to allow more than just the sharing of data, it has also allowed us to share our love for one another.
And your right, a god-fearing pirate is what I’ve long been looking for in life, though hopefully we can have sex before marriage because that’s typically what helps me to fully fall in love (don’t tell my pastor!).
Hopefully we can chat again, perhaps in the Mininova forums this time? I hear its more private.
Please send a pic soon, for I’ve enclosed one myself to give you something to think of me in the meantime.
With love,
Alfred E. Neuman
I’ll write more when, and if, Doris replies back. I miss her already.
jared@zeropaid.com
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I bet Doris is a fat harry man!
lol! Nice one.