Why Parenting is More Important Than Making Law

by Wes Royer

The Federal Trade Commission recently issued a report criticizing the music industry for supposedly continuing to market violent music to children, and the official Democratic Party censor, Lieberman, jumped on the bandwagon and announced plans to introduce legislation punishing record labels for marketing violence to children.

Well, I completely disagree with the FTC’s report and have to commend Al Mancini, alternative/modern rock editor for ABC Radio, for his intelligence in breaking down the report (in a recent ABCNews.com article) for what it really is: politics meant to win over the uneducated parent looking for a full-time babysitter in the law. Or, as Mancini put it, “when politicians become mommies and daddies.”

Let me state that I am 24 years old, a college graduate, an IT professional, married, and comfortably living in one of the best economical regions of the country (Northern Virginia). Oh, and I have also been listening to heavy metal music since elementary school. But I am not a violent sociopath. Oh, and I used to work at the National Rifle Association of America in communications at NRA headquarters in Fairfax, VA. Do I own any firearms? Yes, because I believe in protecting my home and family, and I think controlled shooting sports (you know, at a certified range) are fun and teach discipline and respect. Do I ever plan to use a firearm on another human being, or even an animal? No. It is not like I have my shotgun loaded and pointed at my front door in case a criminal decides to break in. And I would not be “proud” of myself if I had to take another life, even in the defense of another.

I grew up listening to Metallica, Judas Priest, and Slayer; and later, Sepultura and Cypress Hill; and still today, Rage Against The Machine, Marilyn Manson, Eminem, Slipknot, and plenty of extreme-metal bands on the Century Media recording label. I even run an online music magazine that covers, in part, this type of heavy, stereotypically “violent” music: www.openupandsay.com

But still, I have never brutally attacked somebody. And I certainly never planned to bring my father’s 12-guage shotgun to school to pop off some heads, even though there were plenty of people I sincerely hated.

My point is that my parents must have made the difference between how I “turned out” and the teens that shot up one of the dozen schools in the past few years.

I grew up reading music magazines and comics, playing video games, and watching rated-R movies, shoot ‘em up TV shows, and MTV, including the late night “Headbanger’s Ball” with all its “death” metal. Oh, and I grew up with Civil War guns on the wall, plenty of knives in the kitchen, and “dangerous” power-tools in my father’s workshop! But I didn’t kill anybody. I didn’t grab a meat cleaver and the nail gun and go to town on the student body!

Parents in this country need to learn to start taking responsibility for their kids’ actions. Parents these days lobby politicians to make laws to “protect” their children when the first line of defense should be the home. Not to mention the tax dollars wasted in courts and by twenty different committees on establishing these new laws, both at the state and federal level. So, what does this mean? The enemy, “the big bad recording industry,” has destroyed the first line of defense, the home? Give me a break! These are families and raising children we are talking about here, not a battle plan for War World II. “Make a law, they broke past us and are slaughtering our children!” Please, stop!

Why are parents so lazy today? Don’t tell me its because kids today are too hard to control and set limits on. That teenage characteristic is no different today than it was back when those same parents were hippies. Hmm, now that creates an interesting scenario. But anyway…

Parents have a responsibility to do two things at home in relation to this topic, two things that don’t require too much of their precious time: 1) find out what their children are listening to, watching, and/or reading and make a judgement as to whether you want them exposed to it at their age; and 2) have an understanding of your child’s mindset, mental comprehension, being able to separate fact from fiction, moral from immoral. If a parent cares enough to keep track of those two things, they will be able to keep school shooters from manifesting in the first place. A little more attention and love never hurt any child.

Parents need to start taking a more active role in the mental growth of their children (again). Not expect laws and underpaid teachers to do all the work. Not expect the commercial corporate sector to “do the right thing” for the entire public.

If you don’t want your child to read about Marilyn Manson, don’t let your child read the magazine. If you don’t want your child checking out porn online, by a $20 password protected software package to block the porn. If you don’t want your child listening to Eminem or Slipknot, take away the discs. Parents have that right, that responsibility, that control in their own house. If you are losing that control, you need to teach your child who is boss and what happens when they forget who is in charge in your home.

Wes Royer, [email protected], is a professional webmaster living in Northern Virginia, and owner of OpenUpAndSay.com, an online music magazine, and NetworkOfMinds.com, a daily headline and cartoon portal.