Really Funny joke

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Juggalo15, Mar 27, 2004.

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  1. Juggalo15

    Juggalo15 THe Poet p2p'er

    I was looking around the net and I found something my friend wrote, now he more then likely found it somewhere but I got such a kick outta this I though you should all read it.


    Is Windows a virus?

    No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses (viri?) do:

    1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.
    2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.
    3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay, Windows does that, too.
    4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
    5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.

    So it seems Windows is a virus, but there are some fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, run on a wide range of hardware, have fast, compact and efficient program code, and tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

    So, Windows is not a virus.

    Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Linux on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Linux CD. Too my astonishment and distress he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned it on. I was upset because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.' After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold and it seemed to have become thicker and heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, in lines finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:

    4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C204F6E65204F5320746F
    2066696E64207468656D2C0D0A4F6E65204F5320746F206272696E67207468656D20
    616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062696E64207468656D

    'I cannot read the fiery letters,' I said.
    'No,' he said, 'but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Linus, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:'

    One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
    One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
  2. Miniver

    Miniver Adjudicator

    excellent post.

    Note: Never microwave cds! Trust me.

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