Student Busted for Using PHP!!!

**wonderboy2005** · February 17th, 2003, 09:19 PM

Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP
Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.

"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we php_logosuspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.

**Wolfie** · February 17th, 2003, 09:23 PM

LMAO!!!!

Whew!! I'm glad it wasn't P2P...now that's an additctive drug; ;-)

**Ghost 23** · February 17th, 2003, 09:30 PM

This is funny as hell...just goes to show you how most Americans aren't anything but a bunch of ignorant, scared, sheep that will do anything for the illussion of safety. MOOO

**Wolfie** · February 17th, 2003, 09:33 PM

Originally posted by Ghost 23
This is funny as hell...just goes to show you how much American aren't anything but a bunch of ignorant, scared, sheep that will do anything for the illussion of safety. MOOO

Careful man...not ALL of us are right wing conservatives here you know. ;-)

**Ghost 23** · February 17th, 2003, 09:35 PM

Originally posted by Wolfie
Careful man...not ALL of us are right wing conservatives here you know. ;-)

Yeah man, noticed I said most american...:mellow

**Sockfulloflove** · February 17th, 2003, 09:40 PM

haha nice wonderboy, i saw that on NTFS.org earlier today.

**nukehella** · February 17th, 2003, 09:44 PM

Man you guys better be careful with that shit.Next you'll be using PGP for on the school machines .Then you'll get hooked on that designer million bit encryption.You'll wind up working at NSA just to be around the good shit.Then how would you look the people who care about you in the face?

**phalkon30** · February 17th, 2003, 09:54 PM

Thanks, I needed that

**Ghost 23** · February 17th, 2003, 10:01 PM

Originally posted by phalkon30
Thanks, I needed that

LOL, thx phalkon I need to hear a reaction like that...

**MoonMan** · February 17th, 2003, 10:17 PM

Originally posted by Ghost 23
This is funny as hell...just goes to show you how most Americans aren't anything but a bunch of ignorant, scared, sheep that will do anything for the illussion of safety. MOOO

That was a pretty sad comment and goes to show that you haven't really talked to any Americans (well, any over 12).

Anyways, that was pretty funny wonderboy!

**WRFan** · February 17th, 2003, 10:36 PM

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.

I am addicted to it too! what should I do now? is there some kind of treatment or therapy which can help me to resist this temptation?

btw, php is not more powerful. just easier to use

**wonderboy2005** · February 18th, 2003, 05:12 PM

these stories that i find seem to get a kick eh? maybe i should post em on a regular basis? hows 1 a week sound?

btw, i did get that story from ntfs.org, but i followed the source.

**matstao** · February 18th, 2003, 05:30 PM

psst. hey bro. d'you know where i can score any php?

too funny :mellow

**Ghost 23** · February 18th, 2003, 05:30 PM

Originally posted by wonderboy2005
these stories that i find seem to get a kick eh? maybe i should post em on a regular basis? hows 1 a week sound?

btw, i did get that story from ntfs.org, but i followed the source.

I think that a good idea... i think some of the user on ZP coud use a laugh.