Is Norton AV Trying to Blow Up My Computer?

[Drew Wilson]

I've had an update sitting on my laptop for a few days now. All I really need to do was hit the restart button. When I looked at the window, I noticed that there was this 'more details' button. Just out of curiosity, I actually clicked on it to see what was on there. I then saw the following window.



What caught my eye, of course, was this odd looking word "Criticality". I've seen the word "critical" a million times already, but admittedly, this is the first time I've actually run across the word "criticality" Being the educated sort of individual, I actually wondered if that was even a word and looked it up in my 10lb dictionary (AKA dust collector even in proper use)

After getting to the right page for it, there were plenty of "critical" definitions and spinoff words, but none of them were the word "criticality" I scratched my head and thought that I should look for a second source to see if this was actually right - so I Googled the word and came up with Wikipedia which offered a few definitions of the word.

A critical mass is the smallest amount of fissile material needed for a sustained nuclear chain reaction. The critical mass of a fissionable material depends upon its nuclear properties (e.g. the nuclear fission cross-section), its density, its shape, its enrichment, its purity, its temperature, and its surroundings.

Hmm... doesn't sound quite right in the context I am looking for. Next one...

In physics, self-organized criticality (SOC) is a property of (classes of) dynamical systems which have a critical point as an attractor. Their macroscopic behaviour thus displays the spatial and/or temporal scale-invariance characteristic of the critical point of a phase transition, but without the need to tune control parameters to precise values.

A tad cryptic, but I don't think Norton AV is a physics program. Next one.

In operations research and engineering, a criticality matrix is a representation (often graphical) of failure modes along with their probabilities and severities.

Something tells me that Norton wouldn't actually recommend failure... unless I'm reading this incorrectly.

A criticality accident, sometimes referred to as an excursion or a power excursion, occurs when a nuclear chain reaction accidentally occurs in fissile material, such as enriched uranium or plutonium. This releases neutron radiation which is highly dangerous to surrounding personnel and causes induced radioactivity in the surroundings.

Good grief! Since when did my laptop have Uranium in it? Next definition...

Nuclear criticality safety is a field of nuclear engineering dedicated to the prevention of an inadvertent, self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction. Additionally, nuclear criticality safety is concerned with mitigating the consequences of a nuclear criticality accident.

Another frightening definition. o.o

So, looking at the definitions, most of these have something to do with nuclear explosions. I am left wondering, is Norton just trying to blow up my computer? I'm almost afraid to restart my computer now. o.O

---

Note: This is meant to be funny. The next link in the Google link shows the following definition:

1. The quality, state, or degree of being of the highest importance: "The challenge of our future food supply is approaching criticality" New York Times.
2. Physics The point at which a nuclear reaction is self-sustaining.

...still a stupid word when used as a non-physics/science term. :P

[mountain_rage]

Its Norton, of course its trying to blow up your computer. Why do you thinking it integrates itself into every nook and cranny of the operating system? You will also notice that no matter what you do you will never remove the residue of Norton from your machine.

[Drew Wilson]

Its Norton, of course its trying to blow up your computer. Why do you thinking it integrates itself into every nook and cranny of the operating system? You will also notice that no matter what you do you will never remove the residue of Norton from your machine.

Aw crap. Norton has turned my machine into a suicide Vista bomber. :(

[Hath]

It's a Norton Jihad!!!

[shawners]

unless your a marine or in the US army.. Norton shouldnt blow you up.

[Drew Wilson]

unless your a marine or in the US army.. Norton shouldnt blow you up.

Ahhh. Whew. Had me worried. Now the only thing I have to worry about is winding up on a used ferry sold by the British. Excellent! :D

[mountain_rage]

unless your a marine or in the US army.. Norton shouldnt blow you up.

Wait a second... Does Soul use Norton?

[cheapprick]

You're closer than you even know.

Twice a week, Edward Norton comes past Soul's house and inspects his computer for viruses using nothing more than a live iguana and his "lucky" cock ring.

Edward Norton outperforms Kaspersky in 36 of 37 industry benchmarks.

[Hath]

Until Norton's alter ego Brad Pitt appears and wreaks havoc on Drew's massive pr0n collection. :P

/jk