Was there a 5th beatle named Clarence?

**Mels_Smileys45** · February 24th, 2005, 09:31 PM

Clarence Walker claims to have been ripped off by the beatles. "Yeah, man, I was ripped off by the whole group, and the whole group got a behind kicking coming to them when I see 'em! I been lookin' for them boys since 1962, and that's why they got that around-the-clock security in their house, 'cause they know that when Clarence Walker find 'me, he gonna take a chunk out of their behind!'

Clarence also claims to have written the Beatles hits "She Loves You" which was origanly called "She Loves You, Man." "Help", was originally titled "Help Me, Man!" And "She's Got A Ticket To Ride", was originally "She's Got A Ticket To Ride And The Bitch Don't Care, Man"! As told by Mr Walker, who is a black man who plays the Sax," most of them early songs was mostly sax, man! But they stole it from me! "

Mr Walker claims to not want much, "All I want to do is get my rent straight, get my head together and a new plasma. All I need is about seven grand - $7,200 to get straight and a new plasma, that's all I want. I ain't greedy."

"Seven grand, that's all I need and a new plasma. But they got behind kickin's comin' to them!"

The two remaining Beatles could not be reached for comment or the new plasma.

**Wolfie** · February 24th, 2005, 10:07 PM

Last time Clarence was seen he was fishing George Bailey out of the river.

**Mels_Smileys45** · February 24th, 2005, 10:14 PM

George baily -"Clarence! Clarence! Don't ya know me Clarence!"

Clarence-"Sure I do George, you just got the stank breath is all!"

**black_magiic** · February 24th, 2005, 10:21 PM

he wants a plasma tv...no good could possibly come of this

**Mels_Smileys45** · February 24th, 2005, 11:48 PM

Clarence Walker produces evidence to support his claims. He claims a track played backwards tells the tale. "I can play this thing backwards, and you can hear them talking about it! you can hear John Lennon, I'll play it backwards, listen really close!"

Voice of John Lennon: "Hey, Paul! Let's get rid of Clarence and steal all his good ideas!"

Voice of Paul McCartney:"Yeah!"

"What they did was - they took my voice out, they took the saxophone out - it was gone, alright? I did most of the lead vocals, too, alright? Let me tell you something - when I see them boys, I'm gonna put my foot so deep into them, their breath's gonna smell like shoe polish!" Mr Walker is talking legal action after Paul McCartney responded with "Who the hell are you and whats a F**king plasma?"

Story Here

**Mels_Smileys45** · February 25th, 2005, 01:38 PM

Late this afternoon the legendary 5th Beatle Clarence Walker was shot as he was leaving 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York. He had just finished making an appearance on "TRL", and as he was leaving the building, he was shot by an unknown assailant, or assailants, details are sketchy at this point. Clarence walker was rushed to a near by hospital, his condition unknown. His room does have a plasma though. More details as the shocking tragedy develops.

Full story here

**black_magiic** · February 25th, 2005, 02:05 PM

I want a nickle for every time plasma gets mentioned in this thread

**Mels_Smileys45** · February 25th, 2005, 03:56 PM

The Clarence Walker (" 5th Beatle") shooting was caught on tape. A view of the tape shows Walker as he was leaving from an appearance on "TRL". As he stood out side his Limo waving at fans a voice is heard "Hey Mr Walker!", suddenly, two shots ring out, as Walker staggers and his bodyguards run into the startled crowd to tackle the mysterious assailant who was heard saying something like "cran berry sauce" as he was being thrown to the ground. No word on who this man is at the moment. A free plasma is offered for any information leading to a suspected second gunman.

Clarence is now in emergency surgery, and all we Americans can do is wait and worry.

**mfgbypooter** · February 25th, 2005, 04:04 PM

It wouldn't surprise me if one of the Nugent brothers shot him.

.

**Mels_Smileys45** · February 25th, 2005, 11:36 PM

5th Beatle Dead, America Mourns.

As the news circles the globe this morning fans everywhere are shocked to learn that Clarence walker, the infamous 5th Beatle, has died of gun shot wounds received after a "TLR" appearance.

Hilary Duff who was in the TRL studio at the time of the shooting had this to say. "I can't believe it! I can't believe they shot him, it's just terrible! We were watching on the studio's 70" plasma's when the shooting happened and now he's dead! Dayum thats a nice plasma!"

Clarence recently had words with Paul McCartney claiming Paul "got a behind kicking coming." for stealing his songs and look. Clarence Walker had recently described his influence on the group, "I was the most dominant one! See, that was the way we was described back then! John was the wise guy, Paul was the cute one, George was the quiet one, and Ringo was the shy one. And Clarence was the most dominant one. I'm older than the boys! In the beginning, they used to everything that I did!"

The police are still holding the prime suspect and looking for a second gunman. The NYPD is expected to release the name of the suspect sometime tomorrow.

**infringer** · February 26th, 2005, 12:18 AM

Pffft plasma screens are overrated.

-infringer-

**Mels_Smileys45** · February 26th, 2005, 02:51 PM

John David Stutts Jr, was the man named as the gunman that fired two fatal shots to Clarence Walker, The 5th Beatle. John David Stutts Jr's family has a history of violence. His father also shot and killed a famous celebrity, BuckWheat, in 1983.

Stutts Jr's statements in a press release eerily resemble comments made by his father 22 years ago. When asked why he killed Clarence Walker he replied. "Well, I had to kill him. My dog told me he was the Antichrist."

A friend of JDS Jr. was questioned by reporters and asked did he think Stutts was guilty, " Oh, yes. Definitely. All he talked about was shooting Clarence." It seems he was also voted "Most likely to kill a Beatle" in his year book. John David Stutts Jr had this to say, "Well, I was running out of choices and when my dog spoke, I knew it was Clarence or me. Besides, Paul and Ringo are cool. Ide rather shoot Clarence." Sources close to Stutts Jr paint a different picture. An anonymous Friend of the family said he did it to impress some one, Hilary Duff. The source reports Stutts had been e-mailing Hillery's Side Kick for two weeks saying he was going to "kill a Beatle." Hilary Duff has made no comment at this time.

John David Stutts Jr. is expected to be arraigned tomorrow.

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