Drew Wilson
October 25th, 2009, 02:05 PM
Nickelodeon purchased another piece of Gen-Y’s nostalgia when it snapped up worldwide rights to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for a cool $60 million.
In addition to a potentially lucrative merchandising deal announced Wednesday, the cable network has designs on revamping the beloved ’80s series as a CGI cartoon and is negotiating with partner Paramount Pictures to produce a feature film. Both dubious endeavors are slated to descend upon the public in 2012.
Considering a climate where no cherished childhood memory is safe from molestation, our heroes in a half-shell seem destined for turtle soup. Can the reputation of Nickelodeon, one of TV’s most revered children’s networks, assuage anxiety in these creativity-bankrupt times? Will these famous ninja mutants go the way of The Cat in the Hat, Mike Myers’ crass defilement of a beloved Dr. Seuss character? Will the teen turtles suffer the adrenal overload of a Michael Bay-style Transformers re-interpretation, complete with April bent over a motorcycle a la Megan Fox? Or perhaps a shallow popcorn feature, in the vein of the recent G.I. Joe movie, is in their future.
It’s been a rough quarter century for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who have been subjected to countless humiliations since stepping from the pages of the original comic book. Product tie-ins, Pizza Hut-sponsored musical stage shows and multiple live-action movies have all scarred shells.
More... (http://www.wired.com/underwire/2009/10/ninja-turtles-remakes/)
Because heaven forbid Holleywood would desecrate the movie business by hiring a screen writer.
In addition to a potentially lucrative merchandising deal announced Wednesday, the cable network has designs on revamping the beloved ’80s series as a CGI cartoon and is negotiating with partner Paramount Pictures to produce a feature film. Both dubious endeavors are slated to descend upon the public in 2012.
Considering a climate where no cherished childhood memory is safe from molestation, our heroes in a half-shell seem destined for turtle soup. Can the reputation of Nickelodeon, one of TV’s most revered children’s networks, assuage anxiety in these creativity-bankrupt times? Will these famous ninja mutants go the way of The Cat in the Hat, Mike Myers’ crass defilement of a beloved Dr. Seuss character? Will the teen turtles suffer the adrenal overload of a Michael Bay-style Transformers re-interpretation, complete with April bent over a motorcycle a la Megan Fox? Or perhaps a shallow popcorn feature, in the vein of the recent G.I. Joe movie, is in their future.
It’s been a rough quarter century for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who have been subjected to countless humiliations since stepping from the pages of the original comic book. Product tie-ins, Pizza Hut-sponsored musical stage shows and multiple live-action movies have all scarred shells.
More... (http://www.wired.com/underwire/2009/10/ninja-turtles-remakes/)
Because heaven forbid Holleywood would desecrate the movie business by hiring a screen writer.