Spanking children can lead to problems later in life

[HelenaP]

Spanking children can lead to problems later in life
Fri Feb 29, 1:02 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Parents who teach "tough love" by disciplining their children with spankings could be making them more likely to have sexual problems as teenagers and adults, a leading researcher said.

Professor Murray Straus, of the University of New Hampshire, found that children who are spanked or experience other corporal punishment have a raised risk as teenagers and adults to verbally or physically coerce a partner into having sex.

"It's more evidence that parents should not spank if the wellbeing of their children is at stake," he said in an interview.

Straus analyzed the results of the International Dating Violence Study, a survey of more than 14,000 university students at 68 universities in 32 countries. The students were asked if they had been spanked or hit frequently before age 12 and if they had coerced a sexual partner in the previous 12 months.

Men who had experienced corporal punishment were four times more likely to physically coerce a partner into having sex, than those who had not experienced a lot of corporal punishment.

Physical coercion includes holding someone down or hitting them. Women who had experienced corporal punishment were also more likely to coerce sex from a partner than those who had not been spanked.

"People generalize that the use of coercion, physical coercion, is okay. They learn that from people they love and respect - their parents," said Straus, who presented the findings at a summit of the American Psychological Association.

Both men and women who had experienced corporal punishment as children were less than 10 percent more likely than those who had not been spanked to verbally coerce sex from a partner.

Straus said studies have shown that corporal punishment leads to low self control and self esteem, as well as aggressiveness, antisocial personalities and the understanding that violence is okay which may lead to sexual coercion.

He added that there are alternative ways to discipline children that work better and do not have side effects.

Source (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080229/lf_nm_life/children_spanking_dc_1)

Well...what ya'll think about that?

[Feather]

I think this guy needed to be spanked as a child. Give me a friggon break.
The shit these morons will try to cram down your throat.

[Hath]

I thought it was going to say that being spanked as a child leads to bizarre spanking fetishes... I guess I was wrong...

[El Comandante]

Violence begets violence.. no secret there

[mfgbypooter]

That headline made me think it would be about developing arthritis in your hands, elbows, or shoulders from swinging the belt so much while busting the asses of your kids.

damn.

*

[Excrement_Cranium]

Yes. It's true.

Weak-minded sniveling yellow-bellies blame their parents for all of their problems.

[HelenaP]

..children who are spanked or experience other corporal punishment have a raised risk as teenagers and adults to verbally or physically coerce a partner into having sex....

I had my arse beat by my dad more than most men have had their arse beat by another man, yet I have never physically coerced (by their definition) anyone into having sex.

From the time I was three, naked, right out of the bathtub, until I ran away at fourteen. I mean every single day (with the exception of the time he and I were in AZ for the summer, as I had an ear surgery scheduled. My sister wasn't around to lie on me.).
Yet I went the opposite way on discipline (didn't beat their arses enough...in the beginning), rarely spanking my kids.

They hated "time out."

I feel that the only time I should "beat that arse" is when my kid does something that puts him/her in danger.

...corporal punishment leads to low self control and self esteem, as well as aggressiveness, antisocial personalities and the understanding that violence is okay which may lead to sexual coercion.

However, I DO have to keep on top of my aggressiveness and am utterly anti social.

[Lord_of_the_Dense]

This leading researcher needs to step down and let someone else take the lead. The title does state, however, "spanking can" vs. "spanking will." The opposite has proven more true for me. No, I'm not saying I want to be beaten during sex.

While I am not going to turn this into a contest to see who had it the worst growing up, I had my fair share of "spankings" and corporal punishment. I can still recall key moments in my childhood that serve as a reminder of who I should never be. It failed me twice before, however, as I had become violent to my first wife and son, thanks to years of training by my own parents. To my knowledge, this has never had a direct impact on my sexual drive or methodology. Sex should always be a reward for good relationship behaviour and demanding a reward is wrong in any aspect of life.

I will admit that it may have contributed to my anti-social behaviour, but you wouldn't be able to tell by my being here. (I'm really an overweight Glarkon from another star system.)

Anywho, generalized, spanking can lead to general problems later in life. This astounding news make my fingers hurt.

Now where's that box of raisins...

[HelenaP]

...

Now where's that box of raisins...

*tosses raisins to L_O_T_D..*.

[Signa]

i think this is a joke. i got spanked a ton when i was a kid, and i fucking deserved it most of the time. from my parent's prospective, it didnt seem to do much. being ADHD, its hard to find a moment when your kid IS behaving.

Straus said studies have shown that corporal punishment leads to low self control and self esteem, as well as aggressiveness, antisocial personalities and the understanding that violence is okay which may lead to sexual coercion.

this part im not 100% sure isnt incorrect. i am still living at home, but im also prolly one of the nicest guys ever. i could buy the "low self esteem" line, but the more i probe the recesses of my mind, the less the spankings seem like they have any lasting impact on me.

[w31n3r]

personally, i always dismiss research like this as the result of over paid head shrinkers having too much time on their hands. great if you're into opera, not so in the real world.

everyone had their backsides tanned at some point of time. so your pop kicked your ass, big deal. at least it wasn't the snotty kid next door, that'd really suck. if you grow up to be an as$hole, i'd say it was because your parents didn't whack you hard enough. this is just another excuse for lameballs to use, instead of taking ownership of their own actions. shame on you obama...err, sorry, got my topics mixed. but don't blame me, my folks hit me as a child...

[Potato]

And people wonder why younger people now are such spoiled and bratty pieces of shit (blanket comment, not true for every person but seems to be an increasing trend)? Discipline damnit, it works wonders.

When I was spanked as a kid, I deserved it. I learned not to do it again.

If "spanking" borders on flat-out abuse, then yea, that's a problem. But then it's not just spanking anymore.

[cheapprick]

And people wonder why younger people now are such spoiled and bratty pieces of shit (blanket comment, not true for every person but seems to be an increasing trend)? Discipline damnit, it works wonders.


You are now old. Welcome.

Keep those little bastards off of your lawn.

[Feather]

Sorry Tater given too much rep today, maybe tomorrow. Right on the money honey.

[Pooter's Left Nut]

prolonged spankings always leave me feeling exhausted and empty.

p

[ROMANTICGUY50]

And people wonder why younger people now are such spoiled and bratty pieces of shit (blanket comment, not true for every person but seems to be an increasing trend)? Discipline damnit, it works wonders.

When I was spanked as a kid, I deserved it. I learned not to do it again.

If "spanking" borders on flat-out abuse, then yea, that's a problem. But then it's not just spanking anymore.
I agree. My kids might not, but it stopped that behavior.

[RACKnRAIL]

Doesn't spanking children or adults produce sex-crazed maniacs?

[carpefile]

Doesn't spanking children or adults produce sex-crazed maniacs?
Absolutely
HelenaP for example.:icon_thum

[HelenaP]

Absolutely
HelenaP for example.:icon_thum

*shhhhh...people will hear you.*http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l153/shell63/girldevilfs4.gif

[Krell]

Absolutely
HelenaP for example.:icon_thum

Aparantly she still displays a deep need to be spanked.


.

[Feather]

I will do it.

[mountain_rage]

Let me be the first to get ravaged by the group of pro spanker's in the thread, my ass will be red after this posting. My feelings on the subject, which have been molded by my own experiences, information from other studies, and also from my g/f who is doing a psychology degree from the faculty of science are as followed.

Spanking has been shown as an effective method of discipline, you can control someone through force and it will be effective. But the message you are sending your child is not why it is wrong, simply that if they do it again it will hurt. Some people will argue that its perfectly alright, since they are behaving how you think they should, I would say otherwise.

Proper parenting requires allot of dedication, time and patience. It requires you to spend time with your child, build a meaningful relationship and listen to their concerns. Trust has to be formed both ways, they need to trust you and you need to trust them. This relationship cannot be formed through force, and that is my objection to spanking.

I can relate this through an example. Lets say your at work and you just noticed you screwed up. The issue, if not resolved, will cost the company a $5 000 a week. Now if you don't approach your boss he won't know about it and it can't be traced back to you. If you do your unsure of how he will react. Now lets say you do and on approaching him he fires your ass. Was this effective management? If another worker notices this, he is going to think, well should I approach him or should I just hide it? Which would you chose? Hidding it you keep your job unless he finds out, but if you tell him you loose it anyway. Same thing goes for a child. Kids aren't stupid and they can figure out simple correlations. Most times a kid does something the parents never hear about it, that is unless the child tells them. If you have a proper relationship he will approach you with the problem and you can deal with it accordingly. If he is too scared to approach you, due to you overreacting or spanking them, he may decide to just hide the truth. He gets away with it and decides to continue doing that. Now if he would have approached you, you may have found out he never meant to make the mistake and is quite sorry for screwing up. If you encourage that attitude he will grow up to be as upstanding as a kid who was spanked, if not more upstanding.

Now this is not saying that you should not punish your child, but it should be reasonable. If its vandalism, make them fix the mistake, if its something non reparable then take away something meaningful for a set time. People need to induce a sense of responsibility and pride of character into their children. That is whats lacking in current society.

Many people have said on these boards, I was spanked and I am a very nice person. These studies are not saying you are going to fit into this category. Its saying it can, and in many cases pointing to the fact that spanking isn't required. No one can deny that their are other methods of parenting, and if done right they are effective. Its people who don't understand them correctly or are just too lazy to put in the time that are not going to have well behaved kids. So my message to you pro spanker's is, are you too lazy to build a relationship with your children?

[mfgbypooter]

so how old are your kids?

*

[mountain_rage]

so how old are your kids?

*

Way to use an argumentative fallacy. Your comment is a genetic fallacy, essentially attacking the source rather then the information. The argument holds true whether or not I have children, and saying that it does not is pure ignorance.

If you want my experience with children, well I have 40 first cousins and half are younger then me. So I used to babysit quite a bit. I also have a niece who I have spent time with and learnt some childhood behavior from. Ive read about the topic and gotten information from someone studying psychology, specifically taking childhood psychology classes. I've also been a child and have experienced discipline first hand. Lastly go walk around Walmart and see all the poor parenting going on, its quite pathetic.

[HelenaP]

I will do it.

http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh210/allothers69/kitty.jpg

[Excrement_Cranium]

I can relate this through an example. Lets say your at work and you just noticed you screwed up. The issue, if not resolved, will cost the company a $5 000 a week. Now if you don't approach your boss he won't know about it and it can't be traced back to you. If you do your unsure of how he will react. Now lets say you do and on approaching him he fires your ass. Was this effective management? If another worker notices this, he is going to think, well should I approach him or should I just hide it? Which would you chose? Hidding it you keep your job unless he finds out, but if you tell him you loose it anyway.



Don't be butthurt, but using work and companies with adults as a parallel to 4-year olds is


FUCKING RETARDED.

FOURTEEN year-olds still have barely grasped the concept of long-term consequences. How the fuck is a 4-year old going to do it?

And sure... I understand the concept of "hiding" problems for fear of consequence, but saying that spanking CAUSES that behavior any more than any other form of discipline or correction is bullshit. My kids would RATHER be spanked than to be grounded, given a time out, or locked in the torture chamber and beaten with rubber hoses.


Then it comes down to people writing laws blah blah blah blah blah.... fuck me?


Um... MY kids... fuck off!

[mountain_rage]

Don't be butthurt, but using work and companies with adults as a parallel to 4-year olds is


FUCKING RETARDED.

FOURTEEN year-olds still have barely grasped the concept of long-term consequences. How the fuck is a 4-year old going to do it?

And sure... I understand the concept of "hiding" problems for fear of consequence, but saying that spanking CAUSES that behavior any more than any other form of discipline or correction is bullshit. My kids would RATHER be spanked than to be grounded, given a time out, or locked in the torture chamber and beaten with rubber hoses.


Then it comes down to people writing laws blah blah blah blah blah.... fuck me?


Um... MY kids... fuck off!

Kids are not stupid and most understand consequences and responsibility. Yes they are developing those traits and that is why it is required to mold it properly. By saying that the only way to form that is by spanking is saying you can't properly defend a point to your child. There is also a good reason for writing laws protecting children, they very rarely have a voice of their own to defend themselves. Your child your ways, tell that to the kid of a abusive parent, alcoholic, neglectful parent etc. Tell it to this child (http://www.nationalpost.com/story.html?id=159480) .. There has to be a line drawn. Would you want to go back to the times when the belt was allowed? Was that reasonable parenting? People at that time thought so. My feelings are that people use spanking to replace their own deficiencies at parenting. Sadly allot of people have those deficiencies.

I also agree that the behavior of avoiding responsibility can be formed with other discipline. But if you made a mistake with other discipline you can apologize and take it back. This shows your child that people can make mistakes so long as they fix them. If you spank your child you can't exactly take back a spanking.

I think I can feel my ass getting red here.

[mfgbypooter]

you can read all the books and listen to all the studies you want, all you gain is a belief based opinion. Knowledge without wisdom is worthless and the only way you'll ever gain real wisdom is through tried and true experience for yourself. Spanking is not the end all be all, but it is a tool that can and should be incorporated if the situation merits it.

*

[mountain_rage]

you can read all the books and listen to all the studies you want, all you gain is a belief based opinion. Knowledge without wisdom is worthless and the only way you'll ever gain real wisdom is through tried and true experience for yourself. Spanking is not the end all be all, but it is a tool that can and should be incorporated if the situation merits it.

*

So tell me, under what circumstances should a child be spanked? Are their alternative methods that can be used? Why must spanking be the solution, or the tool used if their are alternatives? What benefit does spanking give over the other methods? With your vast experience explain that to me.

Yes it is true you can only learn so much from books. At some point you need to complement it with experience. But book smarts is not a hindrance if you use it properly. If you could gain all your knowledge through experience that would be phenomenal but a lifetime is far too short of that. So basic understanding and well established principles are taught using books, you gain experience after that and using both you can accomplish allot.

[HelenaP]

At last. Now I might be able to post a song I can't get out of my head! :icon_thum
Interesting discussion, btw...

[mfgbypooter]

So tell me, under what circumstances should a child be spanked? Are their alternative methods that can be used? Why must spanking be the solution, or the tool used if their are alternatives? What benefit does spanking give over the other methods? With your vast experience explain that to me.


spanking is not a first recourse of action unless the child has endangered himself or others.

example: you've "taught" your kid not to play with matches or a lighter yet he still got his hands on one and almost burns his room down. what would you do, put him in time out?make him stand in the corner? scold him? "no no little billy, we don't play with fire".

Fuck no. He wants to play with fire, you fire up his ass.

It should be like the nuclear option, not your first recourse, but the last.

*

[sickman]

My girl was never spanked as a child but she totally loves to be spanked and physically coersed as an adult. Let Reuters chew on that!

[mountain_rage]

spanking is not a first recourse of action unless the child has endangered himself or others.

example: you've "taught" your kid not to play with matches or a lighter yet he still got his hands on one and almost burns his room down. what would you do, put him in time out?make him stand in the corner? scold him? "no no little billy, we don't play with fire".

Fuck no. He wants to play with fire, you fire up his ass.

It should be like the nuclear option, not your first recourse, but the last.

*

Well unless your child suffers from some psychological disorder there was some other underlying problem for why he wasn't listening. Probably hard to teach some kids, and sometimes its piers or others that teach them.But regardless there is always a way that doesn't involve violence. It also again comes down to trust and respect. If they respect you they will listen, and if they trust you they will listen to your judgment.

Anyway in a position such as a house fire, although hard, I would believe its more productive to be calm with them. They know they screwed up, it was a big oops, but everyone is ok hopefully. In that situation I would get the kid to see burn victims, hear their story. Maybe bring him to see the firemen that had to deal with the fire to say thanks and appologize. Then finally if there is extensive damage help with fixing it, even if it is insiginificant help and maybe take a bit of money from his allowance. He will learn consequences, hear about what could of happened and be a better person in the end. Maybe I'm just an idealist but I'm pretty sure its just as good an alternative. As I said before it just takes alot of dedication and time, most people would rather just spank their kids.

[mfgbypooter]

your right.

be calm.

calmly whip their ass.

Well unless your child suffers from some psychological disorder there was some other underlying problem for why he wasn't listening.

the underlying problem is he's 3 years old.

*

[HelenaP]

...



the underlying problem is he's 3 years old.

*

I'm sorry, but THAT was funny!

[mountain_rage]

your right.

be calm.

calmly whip their ass.



the underlying problem is he's 3 years old.

*

Well I don't even wanna know what a 3 year old is doing with matches and a lighter then. Buy him some age appropriate toys, those good ones with led in them.

[mfgbypooter]

perhaps the lighter fell out of someone's pocket into a cushion of the couch. perhaps he found it at the babysitters. who knows where the lighter originally came from. it can happen, and has happened.

*

[barbanza]

Violence begets violence.. no secret there

Oh please, that's a bunch of crap, there is nothing wrong with a good spanking, I am not violente and I was spanked as a child.

[Excrement_Cranium]

Kids are not stupid and most understand consequences and responsibility. Yes they are developing those traits and that is why it is required to mold it properly. By saying that the only way to form that is by spanking is saying you can't properly defend a point to your child. There is also a good reason for writing laws protecting children, they very rarely have a voice of their own to defend themselves. Your child your ways, tell that to the kid of a abusive parent, alcoholic, neglectful parent etc. Tell it to this child (http://www.nationalpost.com/story.html?id=159480) .. There has to be a line drawn. Would you want to go back to the times when the belt was allowed? Was that reasonable parenting? People at that time thought so. My feelings are that people use spanking to replace their own deficiencies at parenting. Sadly allot of people have those deficiencies.

I also agree that the behavior of avoiding responsibility can be formed with other discipline. But if you made a mistake with other discipline you can apologize and take it back. This shows your child that people can make mistakes so long as they fix them. If you spank your child you can't exactly take back a spanking.

I think I can feel my ass getting red here.


Nah, you replied well.


Mistress leatherlash will be along shortly.

[El Comandante]

Oh please, that's a bunch of crap, there is nothing wrong with a good spanking, I am not violente and I was spanked as a child.

Yeah, BB but what else is wrong with you? ...

I'm with pooter on this... for the most part. If you have to resort to corporal punishment as an extreme and last resort then by all means use it. This teaches kids that violence is a last resort but an option if necessary. In our society violence and force are real and used by everyone. The article itself seems to level an attack on corporal punishment in general. It does not distinguish between kids who were "spanked" regularly or kids that were spanked infrequently. If spanking is your main means of controlling your kids then you are teaching them that violence is an acceptable means of relating to people. Those are the kids that end up beating their kids, wives or even beating the shit out of you when you cut them off at an intersection.

[mfgbypooter]

exactly.

*

[Lord_of_the_Dense]

You are now old.

I think this was the most informative snippet in this whole thread.

En garde, Potato!

I am not violente....

Sounds like he's mocking you.:icon_salu

[El Comandante]

Sounds like he's mocking you.:icon_salu

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd252/salamooch/che9.jpg

[Excrement_Cranium]

In our society violence and force are real and used by everyone.

OUR society?


Pffft. The whole animal kingdom. We just fancy ourselves "civilized."


I'll play treehugger, and say we don't have enough violence to compensate for our rampant overpopulation.

[Lord_of_the_Dense]

I'll agree with that last statement. At least with violence, you can basically control who lives or dies. Not saying it's fair to anyone, but it's unlike an epidemic or deadly outbreak, where it discriminates none. Shoot, that's not really fair either.

Are they sending condoms out with the food relief?

Don't Overpopulate! Fap!

[Feather]

My girl was never spanked as a child but she totally loves to be spanked and physically coersed as an adult. Let Reuters chew on that!

The authorities are on they way to your house to find out why you would know that.

[HelenaP]

The authorities are on they way to your house to find out why you would know that.

ROFLMAO!
I can't help it Feather.
I mean your ava is so serious and you're..LMAO!