Was there a 5th beatle named Clarence?

[Mels_Smileys45]

Clarence Walker claims to have been ripped off by the beatles. "Yeah, man, I was ripped off by the whole group, and the whole group got a behind kicking coming to them when I see 'em! I been lookin' for them boys since 1962, and that's why they got that around-the-clock security in their house, 'cause they know that when Clarence Walker find 'me, he gonna take a chunk out of their behind!'

Clarence also claims to have written the Beatles hits "She Loves You" which was origanly called "She Loves You, Man." "Help", was originally titled "Help Me, Man!" And "She's Got A Ticket To Ride", was originally "She's Got A Ticket To Ride And The Bitch Don't Care, Man"! As told by Mr Walker, who is a black man who plays the Sax," most of them early songs was mostly sax, man! But they stole it from me! "

Mr Walker claims to not want much, "All I want to do is get my rent straight, get my head together and a new plasma. All I need is about seven grand - $7,200 to get straight and a new plasma, that's all I want. I ain't greedy."

"Seven grand, that's all I need and a new plasma. But they got behind kickin's comin' to them!"


The two remaining Beatles could not be reached for comment or the new plasma.

[Wolfie]

Last time Clarence was seen he was fishing George Bailey out of the river.

[Mels_Smileys45]

George baily -"Clarence! Clarence! Don't ya know me Clarence!"


Clarence-"Sure I do George, you just got the stank breath is all!"

[black_magiic]

he wants a plasma tv...no good could possibly come of this

[Mels_Smileys45]

Clarence Walker produces evidence to support his claims. He claims a track played backwards tells the tale. "I can play this thing backwards, and you can hear them talking about it! you can hear John Lennon, I'll play it backwards, listen really close!"

Voice of John Lennon: "Hey, Paul! Let's get rid of Clarence and steal all his good ideas!"

Voice of Paul McCartney:"Yeah!"


"What they did was - they took my voice out, they took the saxophone out - it was gone, alright? I did most of the lead vocals, too, alright? Let me tell you something - when I see them boys, I'm gonna put my foot so deep into them, their breath's gonna smell like shoe polish!" Mr Walker is talking legal action after Paul McCartney responded with "Who the hell are you and whats a F**king plasma?"


Story Here (http://www.zeropaid.com/bbs/showthread.php?p=309833#post309833)

[Mels_Smileys45]

Late this afternoon the legendary 5th Beatle Clarence Walker was shot as he was leaving 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York. He had just finished making an appearance on "TRL", and as he was leaving the building, he was shot by an unknown assailant, or assailants, details are sketchy at this point. Clarence walker was rushed to a near by hospital, his condition unknown. His room does have a plasma though. More details as the shocking tragedy develops.







Full story here (http://www.zeropaid.com/bbs/showthread.php?p=309999#post309999)

[black_magiic]

I want a nickle for every time plasma gets mentioned in this thread

[Mels_Smileys45]

The Clarence Walker (" 5th Beatle") shooting was caught on tape. A view of the tape shows Walker as he was leaving from an appearance on "TRL". As he stood out side his Limo waving at fans a voice is heard "Hey Mr Walker!", suddenly, two shots ring out, as Walker staggers and his bodyguards run into the startled crowd to tackle the mysterious assailant who was heard saying something like "cran berry sauce" as he was being thrown to the ground. No word on who this man is at the moment. A free plasma is offered for any information leading to a suspected second gunman.

Clarence is now in emergency surgery, and all we Americans can do is wait and worry.

[mfgbypooter]

It wouldn't surprise me if one of the Nugent brothers shot him.

.

[Mels_Smileys45]

5th Beatle Dead, America Mourns.



As the news circles the globe this morning fans everywhere are shocked to learn that Clarence walker, the infamous 5th Beatle, has died of gun shot wounds received after a "TLR" appearance.

Hilary Duff who was in the TRL studio at the time of the shooting had this to say. "I can't believe it! I can't believe they shot him, it's just terrible! We were watching on the studio's 70" plasma's when the shooting happened and now he's dead! Dayum thats a nice plasma!"


Clarence recently had words with Paul McCartney claiming Paul "got a behind kicking coming." for stealing his songs and look. Clarence Walker had recently described his influence on the group, "I was the most dominant one! See, that was the way we was described back then! John was the wise guy, Paul was the cute one, George was the quiet one, and Ringo was the shy one. And Clarence was the most dominant one. I'm older than the boys! In the beginning, they used to everything that I did!"


The police are still holding the prime suspect and looking for a second gunman. The NYPD is expected to release the name of the suspect sometime tomorrow.

[infringer]

Pffft plasma screens are overrated.

-infringer-

[Mels_Smileys45]

http://taylorville.sunk.org/images/johndavidstutts.jpg




John David Stutts Jr, was the man named as the gunman that fired two fatal shots to Clarence Walker, The 5th Beatle. John David Stutts Jr's family has a history of violence. His father also shot and killed a famous celebrity, BuckWheat, in 1983.

Stutts Jr's statements in a press release eerily resemble comments made by his father 22 years ago. When asked why he killed Clarence Walker he replied. "Well, I had to kill him. My dog told me he was the Antichrist."

A friend of JDS Jr. was questioned by reporters and asked did he think Stutts was guilty, " Oh, yes. Definitely. All he talked about was shooting Clarence." It seems he was also voted "Most likely to kill a Beatle" in his year book. John David Stutts Jr had this to say, "Well, I was running out of choices and when my dog spoke, I knew it was Clarence or me. Besides, Paul and Ringo are cool. Ide rather shoot Clarence." Sources close to Stutts Jr paint a different picture. An anonymous Friend of the family said he did it to impress some one, Hilary Duff. The source reports Stutts had been e-mailing Hillery's Side Kick for two weeks saying he was going to "kill a Beatle." Hilary Duff has made no comment at this time.

John David Stutts Jr. is expected to be arraigned tomorrow.



story (http://www.zeropaid.com/bbs/showthread.php?p=310409#post310409)

[MikeHunt]

hahaahahaha

[nukehella]

I hope when they operated on the dude they gave him fresh blood not ,umm,that other stuff.

[black_magiic]

I hope when they operated on the dude they gave him fresh blood not ,umm,that other stuff.

what other stuff, plasma perhaps? ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE THE WORLDS FIRST PLASMATIC MAN.

[Mels_Smileys45]

In a amazing turn of events, John David Stutts Jr was shot dead. As Stutts was led through the basement of police headquarters a woman rushed forward and screamed "you said it was Paul!" then shot stutts dead. This woman has been identified as Hilary Duff.

Hilary was quoted as saying, "When I was told I was going to be on TRL with a Beatle I thought it was Paul McCartney! I never wanted David to shoot Clarence! I rushed to stop him but it was too late!"

Talking to friends of Hilary, the story becomes even more bizarre. One anonymous source said Hilary was actually dating John David Stutts Jr and Clarence Walker. They also state that Hilary and Clarence had talked about getting Stutts to kill the two remaining Beatles after talks of a $7,200 debt had broken down. "All they talked about was killing the Beatles!" the source said.

The world stands united in shock at the thought of John David Stutts Jr and Clarence Walker both banging Hilary Duff.


Fake News (http://www.zeropaid.com/bbs/showthread.php?p=310560#post310560)

[Mels_Smileys45]

Hilary Duff confessed to killing JDS Jr. in court Friday against the advice of her lawyers. It was revealed , in her testimony, that what witnesses reported as hearing the phrase "cranberry sauce " was actually Hilary screaming "I thought it was Paul".

The confession came after a video tape was produced and played on the courts 120" plasma and showed Hilary Duff, JDS Jr and Clarence Walker performing a sex act that some described as a "Ice-cream sandwich" or "Oreo Double stuff".

Hilary is expected to be sentenced later today.

[Ne007]

he wants a plasma tv...no good could possibly come of this

Maybe he is the jealous police officer....hmmmm....

[Excrement_Cranium]

plasma 5 cents
plasma 5 cents
plasma 5 cents
plasma 5 cents
plasma 5 cents.....


how do I send the quarter for this copyright use?

[Mels_Smileys45]

Paul McCartney to Kick Off Tour In Miami to Celebrate Hilary's Confesion

April 19, 2005 6:20 a.m. EST

I.P. Freely, No Headline News

MIAMI, FL (AHN) - Ex-Beatle Paul McCartney will start his new North American tour on September 16 at Miami's AmerianAirlines Arena.

Billboard Online reports that the tour is called the "Fuck Hilary" tour and is designed to support and boost sales of McCartney's yet to be titled new album.

"It's great to finally be able to get back to Miami," McCartney said in a statement. "It's been far too long since I pooped my pants, I barley need a man diaper anymore. But we intend to make up for lost time and kill Ringo next week."

[Mels_Smileys45]

Where is black_magiic?

[wingnut2600]

Man... I miss topics that used plasma as the punchline...

[evilmegaman]

Where is black_magiic?


he's on another forum now. I guess he decided he's more into video games than us lol. But he's still around. He's on MSN all the time :)

[evilmegaman]

Man... I miss topics that used plasma as the punchline...

What was with that anyway?? Can you explain this? lol. I totally was way too stupid to understand :(

EXCUSE MY DOUBLEPOSTING ;)

[Potato]

http://www.zeropaid.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=26826 I think this might be where all that stemmed from...

[Mels_Smileys45]

http://www.zeropaid.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=26826 I think this might be where all that stemmed from...


WOW! I would rep you again if I could........ for diggin up such a kick ass thread.

[wingnut2600]

The days of in-jokes galore at ZP... how I miss them.

[Potato]

So many idiots have come and gone...

[mfgbypooter]

So many idiots have come and gone...
and some just came...

*

[Potato]

and some just never left...



wherethefuckisthesmilieslink

[cheapprick]

So many idiots have come and gone...

That guy was a classic troll.

I wouldn't doubt he's still around.

[black_magiic]

ya I didnt die or anything crazy. I spend most of my time at CheapAssGamer.com now. I kind of faded out after the big period of turmoil surrounding the invite thing. I found cheapassgamers when they had a contest to win $1,000 and just kind of hung around afterwards

EDIT: I just checked my PM box. I love how all three unread messages were people asking me for invites to various trackers lol

[enter8]

Hey Mels, I'm curious about something. Is this Clarence story yours or was it a cut and paste kind of thing?

[HelenaP]

"You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later."
W00t!! http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l153/shell63/girldanceaf2.gif

[SeaPlankton]

I will join Clarance in his fight. I'll take those guys over my knee. "A Hard Day's Night", was originally, "You cu*ting, fu*king b*stard", £10,000 should cover it, unlike Paul McCartney's wig, which doesn't cover much.

[SeaPlankton]

Look I'll stop beating about the Bush, any wummin want some good old fashin whoopie just get in touch. Will help occaisionally with stuff, but this site is terrible for tech support.

[mfgbypooter]

That guy was a classic troll.

I wouldn't doubt he's still around.damn it man why did you just give yourself up like that, ... now it's, it's, just... ruined.

*

[cheapprick]

It probably makes no difference that it wasn't me.

[Potato]

cp's clones post coherently. Plasma boy did not post coherently.

[mfgbypooter]

yeah, we know he doesn't roll like that.

*

[Mels_Smileys45]

Thats right...admit to nothing.


SeaPlankton had a pretty good roll and made it to 283 posts before being ripped a new stink hole. WHich I could see that on a plasma.






Hey Mels, I'm curious about something. Is this Clarence story yours or was it a cut and paste kind of thing?


Some of the SNL script I found on a fan site But most came out of my head. I rushed it a tad. I wanted to drag it out much longer but I couldnt stop posting. Much like tonight

[Mels_Smileys45]

Okay fuckstick! Youre not a bot! Stop digging up my old posts and fucking them up with your spray. I will kill you.

[HelenaP]

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a129/Alanna135/MegaRock/FunnyPIXs/CleaningToilets5.jpg