Jelsoft
September 18th, 2003, 02:53 PM
You have to read this amusing article (http://www.gaming-age.com/cgi-bin/specials/special.pl?spec=riaa&pagenum=1).
Scenario 1: Today
Billy is driving home for the weekend on the lush Pennsylvania Turnpike. The weather is beautiful, the leaves are changing, traffic is light and for the first time is 30 years, there's no construction. Billy, wanting to get home for Thanksgiving as soon as possible, kicks the accelerator just a bit and sets the cruise control at a comfortable, yet easily manageable, 75 miles per hour.
The next thing he sees in his rearview mirror are the familiar flashing red and blue lights of PA's finest. Being a generally law-abiding citizen, Billy pulls over and awaits the obvious.
The trooper swaggers up to Billy's window, removing his mirrored Ray-Bans as he walks. "License and registration, please. Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?"
"Yes, officer. I was driving at a speed of 75 miles per hour when the posted limit on this road is 65. I realize I broke the law. In truth, I knew I was breaking the law when I made the decision to speed, though I have to admit it was a subconscious decision, at best."
"That's good to hear," the trooper begins as he checks the boy's paperwork. "You see, the State of Pennsylvania realizes that speeding, when done in moderation, isn't really hurting anybody. But we also have to keep the road safe. That's why the faster you go, the higher your fine if you're caught. The punishment fits the crime, and it deters most people from driving like fools. People usually know the speed limit, Billy. They just decide the possibility of getting pulled over and getting a ticket for around $100 is worth that risk. Some get upset when they're caught, even though they know they broke the law. It's good to meet a nice, upstanding citizen like yourself. Here's your ticket, please drive carefully. I hope you learned a lesson today, Billy."
And with that, Billy is on his way home.
Scenario 2: If the RIAA wrote and enforced the law
The RIAA has been awarded a contract with the Pennsylvania State Police to assist in law enforcement methods in the field. An RIAA representative now accompanies officers on all calls and patrols.
Billy is caught speeding on the highway. The interaction goes much the way it did in Scenario 1, until the ticket is written and the trooper steps away:
A man in a black suit and dark sunglasses waits in the patrol car. When the trooper returns, they exchange a few brief words and the trooper steps out of the car and approaches Billy once again.
"Sir, I forgot something. Please step out of the vehicle."
"Huh? Why? I have my ticket. It seems like a fair and reasonable punishment and it fits the crime nicely. I'll slow down."
"Please step out of the vehicle."
The trooper waits for bewildered Billy to get out of his car and then hands him a clipboard containing several pieces of paper.
"The State of Pennsylvania," the trooper begins, reading from an index card, "has noticed an increase in speeding over the past few years and, at the same time, a decline in state revenue. Clearly, more people are speeding than ever before without getting caught.
"To put a stop to this activity, the decision has been made to make an example of anyone caught speeding and to have them sign the documents now before you. They say, simply, that you promise to never speed again. And that if you are caught speeding again, you agree that the usual fines and punishments will not suffice and you will willingly throw yourself to the ground and beg for mercy from the Great State of Pennsylvania. The State also has the right to sue you for up to $10,000 for each mile above the speed limit you were traveling."
The trooper pauses, waits for Billy to sign the document with a shaky hand, and flips the card over.
"Furthermore, because the aforementioned fines are clearly not enough to deter citizens from driving…"
He stops to consult the ticket he wrote.
"…10 miles above posted speed limits, it is my sworn duty to beat you about the head and shoulders until you are unconscious. Your name will also be given to all local, state and federal authorities as a Known Speeder and possible terrorist."
Finished reading, the trooper reaches for his nightstick and looks up, "One last thing, sir. Do you have anything in your car I should know about while you're still awake?"
Billy shrugs, "Just some blank CD's and a modified Xbox."
The trooper sighs, shoulders drooping. "Wait here," he says, going back to his patrol car.
"Where are you going?"
"I have to get the other index cards."
Scenario 1: Today
Billy is driving home for the weekend on the lush Pennsylvania Turnpike. The weather is beautiful, the leaves are changing, traffic is light and for the first time is 30 years, there's no construction. Billy, wanting to get home for Thanksgiving as soon as possible, kicks the accelerator just a bit and sets the cruise control at a comfortable, yet easily manageable, 75 miles per hour.
The next thing he sees in his rearview mirror are the familiar flashing red and blue lights of PA's finest. Being a generally law-abiding citizen, Billy pulls over and awaits the obvious.
The trooper swaggers up to Billy's window, removing his mirrored Ray-Bans as he walks. "License and registration, please. Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?"
"Yes, officer. I was driving at a speed of 75 miles per hour when the posted limit on this road is 65. I realize I broke the law. In truth, I knew I was breaking the law when I made the decision to speed, though I have to admit it was a subconscious decision, at best."
"That's good to hear," the trooper begins as he checks the boy's paperwork. "You see, the State of Pennsylvania realizes that speeding, when done in moderation, isn't really hurting anybody. But we also have to keep the road safe. That's why the faster you go, the higher your fine if you're caught. The punishment fits the crime, and it deters most people from driving like fools. People usually know the speed limit, Billy. They just decide the possibility of getting pulled over and getting a ticket for around $100 is worth that risk. Some get upset when they're caught, even though they know they broke the law. It's good to meet a nice, upstanding citizen like yourself. Here's your ticket, please drive carefully. I hope you learned a lesson today, Billy."
And with that, Billy is on his way home.
Scenario 2: If the RIAA wrote and enforced the law
The RIAA has been awarded a contract with the Pennsylvania State Police to assist in law enforcement methods in the field. An RIAA representative now accompanies officers on all calls and patrols.
Billy is caught speeding on the highway. The interaction goes much the way it did in Scenario 1, until the ticket is written and the trooper steps away:
A man in a black suit and dark sunglasses waits in the patrol car. When the trooper returns, they exchange a few brief words and the trooper steps out of the car and approaches Billy once again.
"Sir, I forgot something. Please step out of the vehicle."
"Huh? Why? I have my ticket. It seems like a fair and reasonable punishment and it fits the crime nicely. I'll slow down."
"Please step out of the vehicle."
The trooper waits for bewildered Billy to get out of his car and then hands him a clipboard containing several pieces of paper.
"The State of Pennsylvania," the trooper begins, reading from an index card, "has noticed an increase in speeding over the past few years and, at the same time, a decline in state revenue. Clearly, more people are speeding than ever before without getting caught.
"To put a stop to this activity, the decision has been made to make an example of anyone caught speeding and to have them sign the documents now before you. They say, simply, that you promise to never speed again. And that if you are caught speeding again, you agree that the usual fines and punishments will not suffice and you will willingly throw yourself to the ground and beg for mercy from the Great State of Pennsylvania. The State also has the right to sue you for up to $10,000 for each mile above the speed limit you were traveling."
The trooper pauses, waits for Billy to sign the document with a shaky hand, and flips the card over.
"Furthermore, because the aforementioned fines are clearly not enough to deter citizens from driving…"
He stops to consult the ticket he wrote.
"…10 miles above posted speed limits, it is my sworn duty to beat you about the head and shoulders until you are unconscious. Your name will also be given to all local, state and federal authorities as a Known Speeder and possible terrorist."
Finished reading, the trooper reaches for his nightstick and looks up, "One last thing, sir. Do you have anything in your car I should know about while you're still awake?"
Billy shrugs, "Just some blank CD's and a modified Xbox."
The trooper sighs, shoulders drooping. "Wait here," he says, going back to his patrol car.
"Where are you going?"
"I have to get the other index cards."